|My Family at the top of Whistlers Mountain - Jasper, BC 2009|
Maybe I will call this one “Struggling in the Stairwell”. I headed straight through the parking garage the same way I had come in. I had no idea where the elevators were and actually didn’t recall ever seeing elevators on any previous trip there. I had to go up to the top level (I am guessing about 6 levels) which was the rooftop level of the garage. It was so incredibly cold that day that I just hurried through and started up the stairs. I didn’t get too far before I started to slow down. Eventually I could hardly move myself forward and upward. I had to sit down. I couldn’t breathe and then I was freezing. There was nobody else around. I was sure that eventually someone would find my frozen body there in the stairwell and have to look through my purse for my wallet to figure out who I was.
|Vicky & I after hiking to the top|
of Grouse Mountain - Vancouver, BC 2011
I got up and tried again. I made it up a few more stairs before I had to sit down again. It was like walking through mud. I pulled myself up using the railing and went up a few more stairs until I had to sit down again. This was my pattern and I was crying at this point and frustrated so much because I couldn’t walk up the damn stairs like a normal person. I was angry that this was happening to me and then I just dug down into myself as far as I could and pulled out all the strength that I could and kept moving. There was no way I wasn’t going to get up to the top. This was like my Mount Everest at that moment. Six lousy flights of stairs it a stupid parking garage had become my Mount Everest. How pathetic.
|FPU at the top of Blue|
Mountain - Collingwood, ON 2007
I have no idea how long it took me but I finally made it to the top. I made it damn it!! I pushed open the door and walked out into the outside like I had accomplished something huge! I fully expected a crowd of cheering fans there and flags waving for me. The finish line! The top of the mountain! Nobody was there. Just my car. Yes I had done it and I could see my little blue car. Now if only I could get from there to the car. I kept it in my sights and moved one leg in front of the other until I got the door open and collapsed on the driver seat. I was exhausted and exhilarated that I had done it. I cried because I was happy that I had made it and because I was angry and because I was frustrated and because I had had enough of feeling this way.
I turned on my car, waited for it to warm up, waited until I was calm and breathing normally, and then I drove straight home. I made a mental note to figure out where those damn elevators were located.
Ain't No Mountain High Enough - Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell