Tuesday, March 5, 2013

WORKING 9 TO 5


Hard Workers
(Tasza & Mike) - Summer 2005
It started to hit me that I wasn’t going to be going back to work anytime soon.  At first I guess it felt like I was just on holidays but after a while life at home without going into the office each day seemed more permanent – so to speak.  I was really grappling with the fact that I didn’t have to go to work and that I didn’t have to feel any stress and that all I needed to do was focus on taking care of me.  When you’ve worked pretty much your entire adult life this is a strange place to find yourself.

Except for two maternity leaves, I have always worked.  So to get my head around the fact that the laundry could wait one more day because I was going to be home was odd.  To realize that I didn’t have to rush to cram everything into the weekends and evenings was also odd.  I was in a position where I totally had to change my entire way of being and my complete mindset needed a major overhaul.  Think about it.  It was actually okay if I sat down with a cup of tea and a magazine at 11:00 am and not feel like “something needed to be done.”  I could lie down on the couch and take a nap.  I could watch a movie in the middle of the afternoon.  I could go to the grocery store in the daytime.  Wow.  A freaky turn of events that I would indeed need to get used to.  My job now, I suppose, was to work on me.  Take care of me.  That’s what everyone kept telling me but it made me feel kind of selfish and spoiled.  However, I do know that it was the right thing to do to feel good and stay healthy and as strong as possible with NO STRESS to cause any problems or setbacks.
Another Hard Worker
(Alex) - Summer 2004

I was lucky to be feeling good so I decided to walk every day from the first day of chemo until maybe one day I couldn’t anymore.  While I was able you could be damn sure that I was going to get out there and move around and pull in as much fresh fall air as I could get.  I was even able to run for about 5 kms as well.  I could take walks for as long as I wanted.  I made a decision to stop wearing a watch.  Why?  There was really nowhere I had to be at any given time so I could walk as long as I wanted to.  I so enjoyed these walks and I always took Bailey, our Portuguese Water Dog, with me.
Bailey & Me - Summer 2005

The first day that I started running was less than a week after treatment #1.  I was running along in the morning and I realized that I was laughing.  I was running and laughing like a crazy person.  I was just so amazed that I could run.  I looked to the left and saw the bright sun shining and then I looked to the right and saw that the moon was still out and then I just started to laugh out loud!  It felt so great!  People must have thought I was a lunatic.  I didn’t care.  I felt like screaming, “look at me I have cancer and I’m in chemo and I’m still running!!”

Here’s another thing that changed.   I cooked.  I actually started to cook more often.  I cooked dinner and shocked the crap out of my family.  It was Shepherd’s Pie.  I know it was an easy start but it was quite edible.  Everyone gobbled it up.  I planned to continue wowing my family with new culinary delights every night.  I was loving being at home. 

I was feeling guilty about it.  Just a little tiny bit.

Working 9 To 5 - Dolly Parton


2 comments:

  1. I love it, Tracy. Thank you. Andrew T

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Andrew! Hope all is well in your part of the world:)

      TT

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