(Tasza & Mike) - Summer 2005
It started to hit me that I wasn’t going to be going back to work anytime soon. At first I guess it felt like I was just on holidays but after a while life at home without going into the office each day seemed more permanent – so to speak. I was really grappling with the fact that I didn’t have to go to work and that I didn’t have to feel any stress and that all I needed to do was focus on taking care of me. When you’ve worked pretty much your entire adult life this is a strange place to find yourself.
Except for two maternity leaves, I have always worked. So to get my head around the fact that the laundry could wait one more day because I was going to be home was odd. To realize that I didn’t have to rush to cram everything into the weekends and evenings was also odd. I was in a position where I totally had to change my entire way of being and my complete mindset needed a major overhaul. Think about it. It was actually okay if I sat down with a cup of tea and a magazine at 11:00 am and not feel like “something needed to be done.” I could lie down on the couch and take a nap. I could watch a movie in the middle of the afternoon. I could go to the grocery store in the daytime. Wow. A freaky turn of events that I would indeed need to get used to. My job now, I suppose, was to work on me. Take care of me. That’s what everyone kept telling me but it made me feel kind of selfish and spoiled. However, I do know that it was the right thing to do to feel good and stay healthy and as strong as possible with NO STRESS to cause any problems or setbacks.
|Another Hard Worker |
(Alex) - Summer 2004
I was lucky to be feeling good so I decided to walk every day from the first day of chemo until maybe one day I couldn’t anymore. While I was able you could be damn sure that I was going to get out there and move around and pull in as much fresh fall air as I could get. I was even able to run for about 5 kms as well. I could take walks for as long as I wanted. I made a decision to stop wearing a watch. Why? There was really nowhere I had to be at any given time so I could walk as long as I wanted to. I so enjoyed these walks and I always took Bailey, our Portuguese Water Dog, with me.
|Bailey & Me - Summer 2005|
The first day that I started running was less than a week after treatment #1. I was running along in the morning and I realized that I was laughing. I was running and laughing like a crazy person. I was just so amazed that I could run. I looked to the left and saw the bright sun shining and then I looked to the right and saw that the moon was still out and then I just started to laugh out loud! It felt so great! People must have thought I was a lunatic. I didn’t care. I felt like screaming, “look at me I have cancer and I’m in chemo and I’m still running!!”
Here’s another thing that changed. I cooked. I actually started to cook more often. I cooked dinner and shocked the crap out of my family. It was Shepherd’s Pie. I know it was an easy start but it was quite edible. Everyone gobbled it up. I planned to continue wowing my family with new culinary delights every night. I was loving being at home.
I was feeling guilty about it. Just a little tiny bit.
Working 9 To 5 - Dolly Parton