Monday, February 4, 2013

GET A HAIRCUT

Just a pre-blog entry note that today is WORLD CANCER DAY 2013!!
World Cancer Day (4 February) is an annual event initiated by the Union for International Cancer Control that calls on people, organizations and government agencies around the world to unite in the fight against the global cancer epidemic. This year, the campaign focuses on improving general knowledge around cancer and dispelling misconceptions about the disease. Please visit the Union for International Cancer Control at www.uicc.org to find out more about myths and facts. You can also visit the World Health Organization at www.who.int/en/ for additional information.

Winter 2006 - Minden, Ontario
So, on with the blog....

The next thing I needed to do was to address the issue of my hair.  It was all going to come out completely eventually so I figured why not experiment with some different hairstyles in the meantime?  I went out and bought a magazine and flipped through the pages looking for different styles to try.  I went for my first haircut on August 30.  I even did some before and after photos of every cut on my way to total baldness.  I kept looking in the mirror and trying to imagine how I would look bald but I just couldn’t picture it.  Was my head going to be all weird shaped?  Did I have any creepy birthmarks on my head that I’d never seen before?  My hair was long, past my shoulders and although it was a light brown colour I also had highlights.  It usually lightened a lot during the summer months because I was outside as much as possible.  The first cut took my hair to just below my ears in a shaggy kind of style.  It was cute but a bit too much styling involved.  I knew it was only for a couple of weeks so it didn’t really matter.

It also occurred to me that if the hair on my head was going to fall out then probably all of the hair on my body was going to fall out too.  That was a bit of a bonus to not have to shave.  However, my concern was my face.  How would I look bald and with no eyebrows or eyelashes?  That would be strange.  I was not sure how it would make me feel to see myself that way.  I figured I could get wigs and false eyelashes if I decided too.  So at least that was an option.  There were hats and scarves and wigs and things that you could also get for your head.  I hated some of these things though because they didn’t have much style and were sort of ugly.  I guess I would have to decide what I’d do when that time came.

Haircut #1 - Fall 2006
It was really hard to grasp the fact that I was going to be bald.  How many days did I have in my life where I had a “bad hair day”?  We always take things for granted until they are gone.  Then we wonder how we could have been so stupid.  I was not sure how it would make me feel to lose my hair.  I mean I was not defined by my hair.  It is not the hair on my head that makes me who I am.  But for anyone, especially a woman, this was going to be a big adjustment.  I told myself it was not forever, it was just for now.  That would keep me going through these next few months and beyond.  One day at a time.  I reminded myself that no matter what I looked like my family and friends would still love me.  I just had to remember to love me too.

Aside from the going bald thing, I also kept reading and thinking about how I might feel after the chemo started.  My life was changing every day and until the chemo started it was still relatively the same – physically I mean.  I didn’t feel any different than I did before I found the lump.  Nothing hurt anywhere on my body and I was still running and doing all kinds of things that I always did.  Except now my brain kept trying to figure out how these things were going to be affected.  What was going to change?  What was it going to feel like?  The fear of the unknown is such a strong feeling.  This was a bit unsettling for me and for my family because none of us knew what to expect.

I think the natural thing is to expect the worst but hope for the best.

Get A Haircut - George Thorogood




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