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| Gore Bay - Summer 2006 |
I had to start with my work. Do I
just call them up and say, “Sorry but I won’t be in for few months. I kinda have cancer.” I had to find a way to tell them. It’s funny how your job can be so
all-consuming and you spend hours there every day and then come home and maybe
do more work or check your emails or your blackberry or just think about work
and all that has yet to be done and your deadlines and meetings and then all of
a sudden – none of that matters.
It seemed that work had just disappeared from the priorities in my life
and completely dropped off the table.
Once I’d received this latest information on the treatment plan I
realized that I had to advise my office what was going on. I really wasn’t too sure how to do this. How do you just announce something like this
and then leave the place you’ve been for the past seven years? To my knowledge there had never been anyone
at my workplace that had left because of cancer. How could that be when the statistics are so
high for people getting cancer? Was I
the first one? Maybe I was. That kind of felt like a big responsibility
to me to be able to get through this and come back as some kind of role model
for others. Could I be that person for
my colleagues? I hoped that I could
someday help someone else based on the experiences that I was going to be
having.
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| Me & My Sweet Godson - Summer 2006 |
When I went in to work that last part of August 2006, my boss came in to
see me. She wanted to know if I was okay
because she’d received a message that I had some health issues. She had no idea what those health issues
were. I was thankful that my boss was a
woman. I would not have been as
comfortable telling a male boss about the whole breast cancer thing. No offense to the guys but I just felt more
comfortable with a female coworker. So, I did that thing that I was getting good at. I took a few deep breaths, swallowed back the
lump in my throat, and made some decisions.
I asked if we could talk in her office.
Then we sat down and I just blurted it out. I mean I had gone over this in my mind a
million times as to how I would say it and what I would do but then I just said
it. I felt bad after because I think my
boss was a bit taken aback by my announcement.
However she was so amazing with everything. She wanted to know what she could do. The only thing that I asked for was that she
tell the CEO and the rest of our department and all the staff. I didn’t really want to do that but I wanted
everyone to know why I had disappeared.
I didn’t want any office gossip that I had checked into rehab or something. I wanted the truth out there.
I can’t remember all that clearly
but I think I came back to work for another day or so to finish some things up
before leaving for an indefinite period of time. I was very lucky that we had a good health
plan at work. That was a great relief
and of course reduced the stress somewhat.
When the message got out to all the
staff that I would be leaving and the reason why, I received an onslaught of
emails and phone calls almost immediately.
On the last day I had a line-up outside my door of colleagues and
friends that wanted to come and see me.
Some of them spoke a lot and others simply said that they didn’t know
what to say. I completely understood but
I was just touched by how many people genuinely cared. Either that or they were just scared because
if it happened to me it could happen to anyone right? Even them.
The enormity of how many people
could be affected directly and indirectly by my diagnosis was starting to hit
me. I needed to say goodbye to my
co-workers but I knew I’d be back. I
just didn’t know when. I needed to pack
up some of my personal things and tie up a few loose ends and then slip out
quietly.
On to the next part of my life.
Taking Care of Business - Bachman & Turner
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