Saturday, January 12, 2013

SWEET CHILD O' MINE


As soon as we told our sweet, innocent children that I had cancer we all knew that our lives were forever changed.  This was a scary place we were heading towards.

Tasza & I - Spring 2006
Tasza cried right away.  Then she asked me if I was going to die.  I told her that I would die someday like everyone but that I certainly wasn’t ready to do that yet.  I couldn’t make any promises but the chances were pretty good that the treatments and medicines would do their job and kill the cancer.  Her next question was whether I was going to wear a wig or a scarf on my head.  That made me smile and I told her I hoped she’d help me decide when the time came for that if that was even going to be necessary.

Alex was very quiet.  His eyes were watery but he didn’t say a word.  So, I hugged Tasza very tight and then I asked Mike to take her and talk to her so that I could be alone with my son.

Alex & I - Spring 2006
As soon as they left Alex let his tears come and just held on to me like he would never let go.  What he said next was so heart-wrenching.  He said, “Mommy I’ve been praying every night that you wouldn’t have cancer so how could God let this happen when I’ve been praying so hard?”  That’s a pretty tough one to answer so I just asked him to keep on praying.  We sat there together just hugging each other for a long, long time.  Afterwards we talked a bit more about it and then I told him we’d all need some time for this news to sink in but that we would do whatever it took to make sure we got rid of this cancer.

We reassured both kids that we would keep them informed on everything that we learned at every step of the way.  We also made sure they knew how much we loved them both.  We told them that this wasn’t anyone’s fault and that cancer can just happen to people.  We needed them to know that they could talk to us about this at any time.  If they had questions or if they were scared or if they just wanted to talk about it then we were going to be there for them.  Always.  We were going to get through this together.  As a family.  Plus my Dad and Sheila would be there for them to talk to if they needed to.  They always were anyway – cancer or no cancer.

Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns & Roses


8 comments:

  1. I'm glad I was at home when I read this one. You're so strong Tracy. Thank you!

    Carrie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Carrie I gave you a bit of a warning for this one. Thanks for reading.

      TT

      Delete
  2. This one definitely brought out the downpour. You are so strong and brave, I am honoured to know you my friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww thanks Sherry. I sure do miss your happy face:)

      TT

      Delete
  3. Sniff sniff... my heart goes out to you.
    Telling a child news like this is heart wrenching. I always remember the day we had to tell Kelly her granny died, she was 11. I still get a tear in my eye thinking about it.
    Tracy your writing is extraordinary, you make us feel like we are right in the moment. You must have kept a very detailed journal.
    I always await your next posting :)
    Nancy Schnobb

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Nancy! That must have been tough. But you are a strong woman and you have great kids so your family can get through anything.

      I am glad to make readers "feel" something. I have achieved my goal in that case.

      TT

      Delete
  4. Love your beauty and strength Tracy, I worked with you when you had to take time off to deal with your illness and you had all of your co-worker's prayers and healing thoughts. So happy that you were able to beat cancer and be there for your children and husband <3 thanks for sharing your beautiful story!

    Gail Gallagher

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Gail! Thanks so much for your comments. It was great to work with you but it was so hard to leave during that time. I suppose it is a scary thing for everyone to see one of your own have to go off and undergo treatments, surgeries, etc. I am very blessed to have such an awesome family.

      Take care Gail and thanks for reading.

      TT

      Delete

Thanks for reading and for your support!